Expatriation

So what does it mean to be an expatriate?

As defined by investopedia (n.d.), an expat is ”an individual living in a country other than their country of citizenship, often temporarily and for work reasons. An expatriate can also be an individual who has relinquished citizenship in their home country to become a citizen of another.”

Investopedia (n.d.) further explained, “living as an expatriate can be exciting and present a great opportunity for career advancement, but it can also be an emotionally difficult transition that involves separation from friends and family, and adjusting to an unfamiliar culture and work environment.” Finaccord (n.d.) defined expatriates as “individuals who establish their residence in the territory of another country for a temporary period that is, or is expected to be, of at least 12 months and a maximum of five years, having previously been resident in another country.”

When we arrived at the airport, the airline counters were all dressed up for Chinese New Year. I started to get very excited!

The airline tickets, our visas and transportation upon arrival had been arranged by the company, so this was helpful. Our first leg of the journey required us to stop in Hong Kong for the visas. As it was Chinese New Year when we first arrived, we were immediately exposed to festivities and decorations throughout the streets and hotels. Rotations through Hong Kong were going to be required every six months to renew the visas, but I was really excited for that because I quickly discovered that I loved Hong Kong!

Sanya, Hainan, China

After these first few days enjoying new sights, it was time to head to Sanya, our ‘new home’. Sanya is a tropical city located on Hainan Island in Southern China and a popular destination for mainland Chinese during Chinese New Year. Everyone and their chicken (literally) were boarding the flight to Sanya, Hainan. Our two year-old little girl became a prime attraction to the Chinese because of her fair skin and blue eyes. It was truly an experience trying to keep people from touching her or offering her food ~ not a common practice in our North American culture so this was part of the experience I was not ready for.

We finally arrived late in the evening. Therefore, after check-in at our hotel, we simply crashed until the next day when we could start getting oriented. In our short walk to our room, already the smells and feeling in the air told me we were somewhere very different. Our living quarters were in a suite of a hotel located just across from the beach. It was a beautiful place……for a holiday.

There were immediate concerns about what would keep the kids busy and stimulated.  This was an area where there was no expat community, so there was no international school or other English speaking expats to be seen. There were a lot of aspects to our arrival that I was not prepared for and it took a lot of adjusting in the first few weeks. It was a combination of vacationing, responsibility and realization that this was not just a short-term event. Our family was now very far away and I wanted to share so many things, but it wasn’t the same via email or Skype conversation.

After a few weeks, I started homeschooling the kids in the hotel kids zone. I quickly learned it wasn’t really my thing. After about 3 months, we decided to enroll our son into a Chinese kindergarten. It seemed like a good idea at the time because he needed some kind of routine, but really, it was an experience I probably would not repeat. We had left family support behind and I felt like I was a changed person already because it was hard to even know who I was, never mind lead my children effectively. The kids were now ages 2 and 4, so as a Mother, everything that we had set up for our kids now needed to be re-discovered and established. It may have been our choice to come while the kids were young, but it didn’t mean it was easy.

Expatriation gives you the opportunity to see what you’re made of ~ layer by layer.

Sanya itself was how I expected it to be due to the research I had done, but that research was all online. We were not provided with any resources about how family life would be. There was information from the company about the job itself, but otherwise, no formal training or resources were supplied. It was so culturally different and a continuous learning curve, therefore, it was enriching and exhausting.

I felt the pressures of Motherhood with new insecurities in an unstable and changing environment. At the same time, it felt exotic and exciting and I felt free. Being in a tropical destination, we did make some friends who were visitors to the hotel, but those friendships were short lived because they would only be staying a week or two. My daughter became a very good swimmer here because we were in the pool a lot. This was one of the few regular activities we could do. I definitely experienced culture shock striving to use the currency, pick up the language, figure out where to get groceries and what to get ~ all adjustments to the family routine and living arrangements.

This transition was more than I expected and I felt very alone in my experiences.

We ended up moving from the first hotel into a brand new Holiday Inn at Sanya Bay. These hotel employees made us feel like family and we lived in one of the largest hotel suites that had a very large balcony and kitchen. It felt more like our own one bedroom apartment than a hotel room. This was so much better!

However, after 9 months of living in Sanya, we were trying hard to be transferred up North to Tianjin where the company had another base. Part of the push was that my son was now of kindergarten age and we knew there was an international school there; as well as an expat community.

I knew this would provide the social support that were lacking.

Tianjin, China

Finally, this transfer was confirmed and we ended up staying for another 3 years in the Tianjin Economic Development Area, more fondly known as TEDA. During these years, the kids and I returned to Canada each summer while they were on break from school. This was mostly to avoid the air pollution because it was worse during the hot summer months. We also wanted to build some memories in Canada and there was a lot more to do. It was busy trying to see family and friends and fit it all in while we were home.

We were fortunate to be able to see different parts of China and a few other countries as well. One of the reasons for moving overseas in the first place, was to travel while we were in that part of the world. A few highlights; we saw the Terra Cotta Warriors, the Forbidden City, the Temple of Heaven and the Summer Palace. We hiked the Great Wall of China multiple times and went to the beautiful town of Lijiang in Yunnan Province. These additional travel experiences greatly influenced the educational component of our adventure. We also took vacations to Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore…..clearly enriching our experience because ten years later, the kids still brought up memories from these places.

At the time, these trips provided a welcome relief when the days seemed long and we were reminded to enjoy the opportunity while it lasts.

TEDA International School

I became very involved with the TEDA International School and I was able to focus entirely on my kids. However, I worked hard to establish my own sense of identity while caring for young children in a foreign country. I became the Chairperson for the Parent and Friends Association at the school, I was the parent representative on the Steering Committee working alongside the administration team, I established a soccer team for the kindergarten/grade 1 age group and started an international Cub Scout group. I had now set up a life I was familiar with, enriched by the culture and had settled into a comfortable routine. As any parent knows, life with small children is a busy lifestyle!

A lot of effort went into getting settled and to build a new life……but it was so worth it! Over time, it became more and more our home.

Services ~ Shopping ~ Social

Services such as haircuts and massages were a treat because they are much less expensive than in Canada. I loved shopping the markets and buying fresh vegetables in small amounts so I could go back again the next day. I bought meat off cardboard with flies (I know) ~ it originally took courage to do, but as it turned out, it was just fine and very fresh!

I learned to identify the quality assurance symbol on packaging in the grocery store, couldn’t read the packaging otherwise. There were no shopping carts as we are used to in North America, only baskets, so in order to be able to carry what was purchased, the amount needed to remain concise. Four litre milk jugs did not exist nor did large volumes of frozen packaged foods. The fridge wasn’t big enough even if you could stock up! Cell phones were easy to charge and useful throughout the entire country.

In many ways, life was simplified.

I loved the culture and the challenge of practicing Mandarin every day. We would arrange get-togethers with other expat families that consisted of baseball games in the park, special brunches at the local Renaissance Hotel, and, of course, ladies nights were a MUST on a consistent basis!

While the kids were at school, the ladies would sometimes venture off to Beijing with one of the drivers to collect specific groceries. That in itself became a hunting and gathering process looking for familiar Western food products. We would have birthday parties for adults and kids and enjoyed the general support from our new friends. Many different countries were represented ~ all coming together to make a life in this foreign land. These were good times!

Then one day, as if no time had passed at all, it was time to leave all that behind and step into the idea that it was time to go back home. From that far away, ‘home’ became a much grander concept. Home was not narrowed down to a city or town, a community or the street where we were going to live……home was Canada.

We had already been in China for 3.5 years. Since we ended up staying longer than I was originally prepared for, my reality shifted and it turned out that I fell in love with my new life! My thoughts about going back to Canada were changing because now I felt torn about who I was and where I was supposed to be. We’d have to restart all over again.